This post was last updated on June 25th, 2017 at 08:30 pm
My son used to be a very picky eater. Recently I have noticed a big change in my son’s eating habits. He is about six and a half now and will pretty much eat anything I make. There are a few exceptions of course, but for the most part we don’t fight about it. This was not the case previously. From about the age of two until now, getting him to eat was a struggle. We threatened to take away things, not getting snacks, standing in the corner, sitting at the table until bedtime, etc. You name it we tried it. And yes, at that point in my life my toddler was an asshole.
It got to the point where I would just make him something else because I didn’t want to deal with it. I think this is the karma from me making fun of my mom. My brother, who is 14 years younger than I am, is very picky as well. The kid doesn’t like mashed potatoes…weird right? (love you) I used to yell at her for taking the time to make him something else. Silly me. Then one day I said enough is enough. Either eat what is on your plate, or you will not eat at all and you will not get snacks. Obviously our kids are not going to starve. Eventually he started eating everything, EVEN GREEN BEANS! I believe my refusal to give in, coupled with him going to preschool and seeing other kids eat, is what helped the situation. So, haha I win. This time. Here are some steps you can take if your child is a picky eater.
Step 1: Go to the liquor store and buy a big bottle of wine or vodka
Step 2: Take a shot or drink a glass of wine before you get started
Step 3: Prepare your dinner, whatever you want to make (not what your kid wants) periodically taking another shot or glass of wine
Step 4: Serve dinner to your child on a really cool kids plate and maybe even arrange everything to resemble a smiley face or animal *rolls eyes*
Step 5: Take 2 shots or drink 2 glasses of wine because shit is about to get real
Step 6: After your kid starts complaining or whining about the food you served, instead of responding just drink some more
Step 7: Since you will probably be drunk at this point, just make the kid a PB&J and call it a night
I hope you enjoyed the humor of this post, but seriously guys you just have to struggle through it. Make the decision to not make them their own dinner. They will not starve, they will not suffer from malnutrition. They will eat when they are hungry. Also, don’t allow them to have snacks unless they eat their dinner. And if you really feel the need for a cool kids plate, I recommend this one.
Do you have tips to offer moms on picky eaters? Comment below.